Posts by xjenx

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If you have thoughts of suicide call: 911, 800 – SUICIDE (784-2433), or go to the nearest emergency room.

  • Its a scary thing when you go through your contacts on your phone when you desperately need to talk and get help and nobody really knows you…

  • I don’t understand myself. I hate who I have become. I’m steadily getting worse in every way. I’ll start my blog with a confession. Okay. I am addicted to self mutilation. I just can’t stop. I feel like I can’t focus on anything until I hurt myself. I’ve been si-ing for two years now and…

  • I didn’t do anything! My parents just flipped @ me for nothing and I SIed and my friend is in florida and told me how he got hurt and he got quite descriptive with his injuries and ui started crying. I know he didn’t mean anything but it just…I don’t even know…it was hard.

  • I don’t know what to do. My SI has been getting worse so quickly. I can’t go a day without it anymore. I lose my mind and its all I can think about. Jake is angry at me because I do it but he’s the person I go to to talk and I texted him because…

  • i want to hurt

    I WANT to cry. I WANT to be in pain. I want to FEEL. I’ve been so numb since chris broke up with me, but I never registered it. But sometimes I feel like he stole all of my tears when he broke my heart. I’ve s.i.ed several times b etween then and now and…

  • im pathetic!!

    I can’t believe myself…I can’t even last three days without s.i…I’m pathetic. Three days! That’s all it took for me to break. I feel so bad because Jake was so happy…he was cheering me on and I let him down…I don’t know how I can face him now. I feel so guilty.

  • i cant ignore these urges!! but i must resist them..

    I haven’t s.i.ed in 2 days and today would be the 3rd…if I make it. I’ve been having really strong urges all day and they’re getting harder to resist. They never go unnoticed. When I cross my arms across my stomach, I visualize myself with a sharp in hand and it takes all my strength…

  • day two complete

    Today is the second day in a row where I haven’t s.i.ed!! I’m so happy! I had a little mental argument with myself earlier but I resisted it. I know it will get harder and harder to stop myself because I tried stopping before but for now…I’m just proud I got this far :]

  • they know i s.i.!!!! so why do they still make fun of me???

    After Chris broke up with me and I stupidly told my father that I s.i., a lot of things have changed. But some things haven’t. Like the “emo” jokes. And the comments on my eyeliner, how it makes me look dead (which creates images in my head that one wouldn’t find too pleasant on a normal…

  • im so proud!!!

    YAAAAAY!!! I’m so proud od myself!!! I didn’t S.I. today!! I know I know. One day, woohoo. But to me, this is so different, so great! I told my friend Jake and he’s really proud of me too, and that helps a lot, to know someone is there for the highlights, even if it is…