Posts by Heather

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If you have thoughts of suicide call: 911, 800 – SUICIDE (784-2433), or go to the nearest emergency room.

  • Last week.

    Last week, I relapsed after six months. It was an impulsive decision. Like, I didn’t do it on impulse, I thought about it for a while before acting upon that impulse. I haven’t told anyone, and I don’t know if I should or even can. I don’t know. The results were a little scary, being…

  • Look away.

    There is a show on MTV called The Real World and there is a guy on there that SI. This is a reality show, so everything on the show really happened, he SI, and  they show it. They show it so openly. I don’t know why they would do that, just like how they show…

  • A Lot Has Happened.

    I haven’t SI’d in, I don’t know how long actually. I just know that I think I stopped somewhere around February. I stopped caring about SI, but here I am, struggling as we speak. A lot has happened that I feel that I have to keep to myself. My mom recently told me that my…

  • I knew it.

    I turn eighteen on April 29 and I have been torn about. Should I be excited? Should I be scared? What I do know is that I should be more terrified than excited because of my parents. I knew that my parents would throw in a twist somewhere in there. I knew that at some…

  • Here is where I begin to question:

    I was clean for a year and almost a half, then I threw it away. During the last few months of sobriety, I found a new habit.  It is illegal and you can’t treat an addiction with another addiction and believe me, I have many addictions and obsessions. I just don’t know which line will…

  • I have a question:

    As I was reading through some previous posts, I noticed that some have never made it past the eight month marker of being clean. That is so foreign to me, considering that I effortlessly got to a year and five months with a blink of an eye. Yeah, I had my difficulties in the first…

  • Rehab?

    During my freshmen year, my parents found out about my SIing and threatened to send me into an inpatient clinic. I was terrified, but they could tell that I really wanted to go. They threatened to do so, but it was all a lie. A lie. I needed help and they just pretended that they…

  • Three Weeks

    It has been three weeks, I think, since the last time I SI’d. A week before that, was the first time I relapsed in over a year and almost a half of sobriety. I threw it all away and frankly, I don’t care. I knew that a relapse would be inevitable, it is part of…

  • One Year, Five Months Gone

    I was one year and five months exactly clean on Monday, then I decided to SI. There was a lot going on, but I know that none of it makes it okay to relapse. I gave in because I wanted to relapse. Nothing else. I am not bothered by the fact that I did fall…

  • I just don’t know.

    So, I’m not really sure why I’m even writing this right now, but I feel the need to. Today was supposed to be a good day, but then when I got home, things just went awry. Let me start with this, today I was messing around with one of my friends, who happens to be…