Posts by Cassandra

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  • What I want to tell my friends… how to help me

    I’m really ticked off right now because a friend of mine was saying “just don’t do it”, when she knows I’m under so much pressure that I’m on the verge of shattering into a million, plus one, pieces!  She thinks she can just tell me not to do it, then I won’t do it, and that…

  • What are your plans to NOT self-injure over the holidays?

    This time of year is hard for many people, especially if we have memories of self-injury relating to the holidays.  I know I’m one of those people and last year I spent my holiday “recovering”… which was not only embarrassing, but painful.  It brought me shame because I wasn’t able to finish presents I had…

  • “Bodily fluid” donation while in Recovery

    I just got a text from someone asking me to donate “bodily fluid” as I’m O- and considered a “universal donor”.  Does anyone know if I’ll really have to wait a full 12 months/ 365 days before I can donate?  Self-injury seems to fall under the characteristic of skin piercing/ tattoo/ etc… under the qualification requirements for…

  • Honesty

    I’m actively pursuing recovery.  One of big themes I am finding is in how honesty plays one of the title roles in this whole process… it is the backbone of which everything is based.  When I lie to myself or others, I am only making the problem worse. I am not suggesting that I will…

  • What exactly am I hiding afterall?

    I wonder what I’m hiding and protecting others from when I don’t talk about how I’m doing and how I’m coping – I don’t think I’m really helping my situation or helping theirs because no one is exchanging honestly in the relationship. I don’t like hiding my struggles with self-injury anymore.  I have never done…

  • I didn’t do it when I wanted to

    I’m under a lot of stress right now because my life has turned a full 300 degrees in the last 2.5 weeks. I have changed jobs/ careers (got fired, interviewed for a couple jobs, took a new job and then quit it, finally took a full-time position elsewhere), gone from working all night long to…

  • Slipping up

    That is where I am at right now, I’m slipping up – much more than I have in over the last year.  I’m still trying to do recovery, but I’m finding myself slipping and slipping and slipping more… almost so much I’m afraid to claim I am recovering from self-injury.  I hate how much self-injury…

  • Struggling with the slip-ups

    This is where I am at… I’m in recovery, but I find myself still slipping up — and then each slip-up makes me feel like I’m no longer in recovery.  I know I want to stop, but I am not doing too well handling the times when I do end up hurting myself… despite not…

  • Trying to find the inner motivation again

    I feel like I have been refraining from S.I. because of other’s expectations of me to not hurt myself anymore. I don’t feel like I am doing it for me, which is bothersome. I feel like I have lost my internal motivation to stop harming and this scares me. I have accepted that other people…

  • Is there really life for me after self-harm?

    I don’t think there is, at least a life that is fruitful and easy.  I almost find it easier to just continue with the negative coping because then at least I have a reason to hide myself. I consider myself in recovery, but I am questioning why I ever stopped or reducing hurting myself to…