Posts by musickeepsmealive

This is a “trigger-free” site. Please do not use language containing graphic descriptions of Self Injurious behaviors. Words such as self injury, self harm, and the initials S.I. will be approved. Be mindful of swear words which are inappropriate and offensive to minors and others. This site is monitored and anyone found to continually violate these conditions will be removed from this entire blog site. Please follow S.A.F.E. A LTERNATIVES’ philosophy and help us maintain a “trigger-free” blog. Thank you.

If you have thoughts of suicide call: 911, 800 – SUICIDE (784-2433), or go to the nearest emergency room.

  • for the past three days all i’ve wanted to do was hurt myself. everything sets me off. i can’t go an hour without feeling that familiar sickening feeling in my stomache. i don’t know how to deal with this pain and if i want to deal with it anymore. i feel like i’m slowly losing…

  • i’ve been so good for the longest time, my si has been to a minimum. the distractions were working, but not anymore. and then i found out my supposed “best friends” have been doing stuff and diliberately leaving me out and i’ve pretty much figured out that i don’t fit in anywhere. so i just si’d…

  • and it begins

    i got into yet another fight with my mom today. about how im a lazy ungreatful chilid who never does anything for this family and anytime they ask one small favor of me i say no. yeah that was brought on when i said i wanted to stop writing my brother’s report for him so i…

  • i’m going insane

    i think i’m going absolutely out of my mind. i keep convincing myself that everyone is mad at me and that everyone hates me and that no one wants me around. and like, its so strong, i can feel it. and i physically feel sick thinking about it because it just kills me so bad….

  • so last night i had a really horrible dream i was at that party where the picture was taken (it was a sweet sixteen by the way) and the girl whose party it was, was doing candles. and everyone else at my table got a candle and then she got up and came to me….

  • to the people who asked for more info about the picture i mentioned before: a picture of all my friends, except me. at a party i was at. taken in the five minutes when i went to the bathroom. like they waited for me to be gone, and its captioned: all the people that matter…

  • this shouldn’t hurt like this

    so this shouldn’t hurt that much. but it does. its just a stupid picture, but it feels like my entire world came crashing down. it just solidifies what i’ve been feeling all alone: that no one wants me. they really must not want me, you know if they waited until i wasn’t around for this….

  • pain

    sometimes i wish my mom would just hit me instead of say the things she does. i have a very high tolerance for physical pain, but a low breaking point for emotional pain. i can’t do this anymore.

  • rantings

    so this week has been interestingg on sunday i was just so depressed, i almost had a mental breakdown in church, and then i was about to talk to my one friend about it but then it suddenly became all about her. cause in her mind, i cannot ven begin to know how bad life is…

  • so for a while there i was being really good. like really good.  but these past coulple of weeks have just been awful. like everything, every insecurity, every pain i ever had just came back to me and there was nothing i could do. i’m falling apart, and i’m trying to help my friend whose…