Posts by killingkarma

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If you have thoughts of suicide call: 911, 800 – SUICIDE (784-2433), or go to the nearest emergency room.

  • my last post for now

    this is my last post for quite sometime. due to way too much miscommunication and a bunch of other factors, i have been committed again. how lovely right? anyways, i will probably lose more of my mind while in the hospital. various pieces of my life will come out one a week since that’s the…

  • I’m very angry!!

    okay, let’s just get right down to it shall we? i am a jerk, borderline sociopath. i truly do not care for others feelings and i have no emotions myself. for f___s sake what does she want from me? she has me on this pedestal and has all this hype around me and wanting this…

  • square one

    I feel us falling apart. a rift. what is becoming of us? you won’t talk. i don’t want to pry. this bridge that kept our friendship together cannot handle the distance and strain that is being created over this black sea in our hearts. my fear is that we won’t speak together after all is…

  • let’s talk…

    there are a million things i want to say to you. i would like to think that me talking to you every day would help you figure your problems out. but i’m starting to think it won’t. you sit here and moan to me time and time again about how you want to S.I. and all…

  • city and colour

    it’s monday night. the first day of the week draws to a close. i feel myself not caring, losing all though of concentration, the urge to hurt, to scream, to let people hear what i really think, but scared of the feelings that will over run me, like a man who is drunk for the…

  • sick cycle carousel!

    i feel burned out. i want meds to help me settle down but doc refuses to give em. i feel this dread of totally giving up rolling over my back. i feel like this week is gonna be bullocks with after the way today went. i feel ashamed of who i am. i always try…

  • _______(fill in blank)

    i fear that it will end this way. that the person inside of me will never escape. i fear that i will never end up finding someone that i can call my own, that i can fall in love with more and more, everyday.

  • i don’t exist

    i almost feel as if i should give up sometimes. i feel disappointed with myself. i love my family, but i still feel like a let down. even to my friends. i find myself getting pissy over nothing. i’m taking meds, but they don’t seem to help. just make me feel more disconnected. i look…

  • drp dd, grgs

    blah! that’s all i ever hear anymore.  who is she to come into y life and get in my face like this? “if you never wanted to see me again why didn’t you just say so?” believe me, i told you! i told you over and over again to let it go. i’ve let you go….

  • frst pst

    i feel like i should be giving up here. everything. my sobriety, giving up on my break from si, a hope that i can find someone that i can love and call my own, and lastly, my life. i have gone through four therapists in two years, the meds i’ve been taking aren’t doing anything,…