Posts by kellie

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If you have thoughts of suicide call: 911, 800 – SUICIDE (784-2433), or go to the nearest emergency room.

  • Urges Coming Back

    February 25th would have marked 7 months free from SI but I slipped up Sunday.  I’ve been going through a bit of a transition lately. My mother has a Personality Disorder which makes her not really fun to live with. A month ago, a confrontation started when I got home and don’t even remember exactly how…

  • I Just Feel So Happy

    Around this time a year ago, I was doing ecstasy and Xanax, I was horribly depressed and anxious, I felt disconnected from everyone around me, I felt as if there was no end to the sadness and the joy of the holidays was completely over my head. I was not particularly close with anyone in…

  • Will the thought to S.I Eventually Stop?

    I will be safe for exactly four months tomorrow. Self injury rarely enters my mind as an option. Wellbutrin, reading the bible/attending church, and counseling has definitely helped. What I have noticed is that my SI is very much connected to my body image. I have also struggled with purging. After eating something “bad” I…

  • Antidepressants?

    I entered counseling at my church with someone who is just about to graduate with a PHD in marriage and family counseling. She has taken my case to her supervisor at school who as been in the field for fifteen years. So, I don’t in any way think the advice I’m getting is unqualified. My…

  • I went three weeks without hurting myself and thought I was going strong. That ended. Then I went a week. That ended too. This is so much harder than I thought it was going to be. I’m 20 years old. I don’t want to be dealing with this at 30, 40, 50…. Blah. I feel…

  • Good News

    So, I got into the Stage and Screen Acting program at UNLV! Whoo! Exciting! I am very relieved. Good things are happening. I haven’t been very depressed at all for about a month now. I am a fan of therapy. I have been working hard on changing my thought processes and challenging my negative thinking….

  • Stress

    I had my auditions to get into the theatre department yesterday and they went pretty well. I will find out at the beginning of next week if I’m in or if I have to change my major. I am trying not to let my nerves get the best of me. I deserve that spot and…

  • I Can’t Believe She Actually Said This

    So, my therapy at school is ending pretty soon so I decided to try and find a therapist in my city that treated self-injurers. It was a very frustrating process. It seems that no therapist in Nevada wants to touch the subject. I was getting tired of looking through all the listings so I chose…

  • I’m Never Injuring Again

    When I started going to therapy at my school my therapist asked what my goals were. I told her that I wanted to stop injuring and figure why I am so sad so that I can fix it. Even though it was my goal to begin with, I never fully made the choice to stop. The…

  • I Don’t Think I Can Say This Out Loud

    I don’t know what was going on in my head on friday. My best friend is like me in that she gets very depressed and anxious. Sometimes we’ll have our crazy days together. They don’t happen very often anymore but friday was one of them. I was doing so good last week too. I only injured…