Posts by balletfreak

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If you have thoughts of suicide call: 911, 800 – SUICIDE (784-2433), or go to the nearest emergency room.

  • I just dont know what to do

    I want to SI so bad and probobly will before the night is up. I dont have urgers like i used to, where i felt like i NEEDED to si. I dont feel that way anymore, but right now im just so depressed. I’v been thinking about suicide again,and i havent done that in a…

  • SI sucks! so why do i keep doing it?

    So i’v been wanting to SI for a few days now, but i had been resisting the urge because i hadnt done it in so long (almost three months) but then i got in an argument with my friend and everything went downhill.  I SI’d and i feel awful about it.  I know that SI…

  • scared

    I SI’d the other day, not much, just barely, so little that im still counting it in my number of days since i last SI’d (66) but the point is, it scared me. I forgot the feeling i get when i SI.  I dont want anymore scars, but i kinda want to start SIing again,…

  • People just dont understand

    So today this friend of mine was joking about SI, so i called her on it. I dont rememer what i said, but i was very serious that SI was nothing to joke about. Well, she thought i was joking, and just started to joke even more about it. I was mad that she was…

  • Two Months!

    It will be two months tomorrow since i last SI’d.  I am doing great. . . now if only i could get my weight issues under control.

  • Do others see me differently than i see myself?

    The other day, my therapist told me that the way i think is more like an adult than an adolecent, and i was kinda surprised (im 15) i always thought i was kind of immature. Then later i was thinking, about how when people say good things about me i just forget them, but when…

  • Walls

    I dont know know if this will make any sense at all. I feel like im in a room with no doors or windows.  I dont know what to do so i just walk.  I keep walking into the walls.   Each time it’s a different spot on the wall, but each time it hurts just…

  • Success?

    So, i havent SI’d in a month and ten days. Well sort of. I havent injured, but i am experementing with an ED well i guess experimenting isnt quite the right word, but i dont know how to word this to say what i want to say without being triggering. Hmm i guess ill try…

  • Over a month!

    Its been a month and 4 days since i last SI’d. Im soo happy. I hardly ever even consider si ing anymore. Im even starting to lose weight, and my weight was one of the major things that triggered me to SI. 🙂

  • Its been almost a month

    It has been 23 days since i last si’d. Im soooo happy. I really feel like im getting better. I havent even really wanted to lately. Im so excited. Im not even working on si with my therapist anymore. Instead im working on my weight issues. Right now i feel like i can do anything….