Posts by ArtificialFake

This is a “trigger-free” site. Please do not use language containing graphic descriptions of Self Injurious behaviors. Words such as self injury, self harm, and the initials S.I. will be approved. Be mindful of swear words which are inappropriate and offensive to minors and others. This site is monitored and anyone found to continually violate these conditions will be removed from this entire blog site. Please follow S.A.F.E. A LTERNATIVES’ philosophy and help us maintain a “trigger-free” blog. Thank you.

If you have thoughts of suicide call: 911, 800 – SUICIDE (784-2433), or go to the nearest emergency room.

  • Looking Forward

    Today I came back to this site for the first time in about 3 years. Reading through everything I’ve written over the years, everything I’ve felt and thought, it’s like I don’t even know that girl I used to be anymore. I relived myself slowly changing from that scared 16-year-old at her lowest point ever…

  • If you pick up the pieces, can you ever really not be broken?

    So I’ve been SI free for almost a year and a half after struggling with it for four horrible years. I have a job, a new place to live away from my parents, and a boyfriend who loves me. So why am I so unhappy? I find myself becoming more and more depressed lately. I…

  • Supreme screwup

    So, today I finally slipped up and injured again. Six months injury free, and today I ruined it. At this point I’m kind of numb about it, but I’m dreading the all too familiar disgust and self loathing. The scary thing is that I forgot how addictive it is. I’m going to have to actively…

  • Sick

    I am just so sick of my life! I can’t deal with all this stress I am under, and I’m running out of trusted friends fast. I made the mistake of dating my best friend ever and now we can’t even talk to each other, and I’m about to lose a bunch more of my…

  • I am being really stupid… again (but this time I know it)

      Things are going pretty well for me in most areas of my life right now, but for some reason I just can’t seem to be grateful or happy. Last year I hit my lowest point, but things are getting better now and I don’t know why I can’t just accept that. It’s like there’s…

  • Accidents can happen

     I had my first slipup in quite a long time last night. Somehow I’m not all that surprised. It’s a familiar behavior and I fell back on it. My stepparents don’t know, and I don’t have the heart to tell them for their sake and mine (I really really really don’t feel like spending my senior…

  • Is this what crazy feels like?

      I want to rid away the old memories of what my life was like and watch them disappear, but simultaneously I want my scars as visual reminders not to make the same mistakes. Those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it, or so say philosophers. I just want to get back to the way…

  • Uncertain

      Well, it’s summer. This means I haven’t harmed myself in about 2 months, not since I confessed to my stepparents and they flipped out, though it seems like a lot longer. I’ve managed to convince my therapist that I’m ok, normal… whatever that means, and that I was just way stressed and it only…

  • Tales Of A Mere Existence

      I want more than just living day to day worrying what the future will hold. I find myself wondering why living my life SI free doesn’t feel better than this. Shouldn’t life be sweeter, more beautiful than mere existence? These days I feel like I’m hanging by a thread in a kind of limbo…

  • I am more than just my scars.

      Why is it so hard for people to look past the scars and the stereotypes surrounding them, and see the person underneath; the girl struggling to overcome her pain and find something to call her own in this world and maybe even make something of herself? I’m scared to wear anything that will show…