Ive never posted anything like this on public, but my name stays anonymous so im going to give it a try. I’m currently in the worst place in my head. I feel so lost and confused. I don’t know where my life is going. I don’t know what to do with myself right now. I just need someone to talk. I just want someone to understand and help me. I don’t want people to think I sound bratty but I just crashed my brand new Range Rover Sport while I was under the influence of alcohol and anti-anxiety meds, im thankful im alive and didn’t get arrested but I felt that this crash has left me feeling extremely guilty. I put my life at risk, my best friend, and everyone in publics lives at risk and I feel so awful. I feel so sick and depressed in the head. I just got back to school from the worst christmas break of my life and I can not seem to put my head in the game. Guys are using me, and Im letting them use me. I’ve been left, rejected for other girls a countless amount of times, which has me to believe there is seriously something wrong with the way I look and act. I was so triggered yesterday that I relapsed and I feel that I need serious help but I’m scared to ask for it. I was in and out of rehabs for 5 years, I do not want my family to waste more time & money on making me feel happier and better. I feel that I am such a burden in their lives. I’m 21 and a pathetic loser who has never worked a day in her life. To whoever is reading this, weither it gets submitted or not.. please just help me. I just need someone to talk to and understand where I am coming from and how I’m feeling. I feel so crushed and useless.