I apologize if this is not the place to talk about this, or if it offends anyone…but the outcome of this election has left me feeling so negative. While I can talk about it with others, my desire to SI and why it has come about,I can’t talk about with anyone. But I need get it out, so hopefully this is okay.
I feel like I have been victimized again. As a survivor of sexual abuse and seeing my abuser not get into any trouble and lead a normal life where everyone looks at him as if he is a great man… I can’t help but feel the same thing when I see who our next president will be. How is it okay to talk about assaulting someone and still be in an esteemed role? I feel so sick when I think about it. I feel anger and I feel so sad for my child self having to relive this same feeling again. This is not okay to me.
I am scared for my friends and those that I don’t even know that will be impacted by hate and discrimination. I have a very close fried who is gay and he is struggling to find his place now. I want to stand with him and tell him he is not alone. There are many, many people who don’t believe what this man does and that good will prevail. But it’s hard to say when I have a hard time believing that right now – hopefully soon though. I really disagree with a lot of what our two new top leaders stand for. I fear for our country’s mental health. I am scared, sad and angry. I want to SI for so many reasons. Sometimes I feel I want to SI so I can just lash out on myself rather than taking my anger out on people/things that don’t deserve it. I can’t even stand to talk or look at the people in my family who support this man and his beliefs. I need some cool down time before I can even comprehend having a conversation that does not involve me bursting into some rant.
Again, sorry if this is not the place to talk politics – but for me this goes beyond mere politics. It is affecting my mental health and I am hoping to hang on. Just like when I was younger I have to remind myself that I have the control over my actions and thoughts. I can choose to overcome and do good despite the negativity and injustice around me.