Just recently I have self harmed, for the first time ever. I had attempted before but was always too scared to do it, which made me feel like a failure. When it finally happened I felt accomplished & almost happy. Idk if it made my depression better or not. I’ve also just recently started struggling with depression, normally it’s just my anxiety that consumes me. I find that I become so depressed due to the anxiety. I am depressed & lonely thinking that I will never be “normal” or be able to live a normal life like other people. Which really scares me. Wondering if anyone else struggles with depression caused by anxiety?
I have anxiety and have been depressed (both at the same time, it sucks). (I have lots of dx’s, but most are now considered in remission thanks to the right combo of meds and a really great therapist as well as psych-ed type classes). Like you, it took me a while to “work up the courage” to self harm. Sometimes I wish I’d never gotten that courage. Self harm stole a large part of my life. Would I have had as many problems with my mental illnesses if I had never self harmed? I don’t know. Did it sometimes make me feel better? For a while, but then I always felt worse. If I could have stopped after the first time, I would have. If you can still stop easily, I recommend it. Fortunately I didn’t have to go it alone– I had a good psychiatrist and therapist (more than one and some not so good) along the way. I recommend finding good mental health care providers. Also, I have some super supportive friends and family. This is very important. But, for me, the power lies in choosing whom I tell about my issues. I don’t have to tell every friend, or every family member–only the ones I know who will be supportive. You are definitely not alone, and there is help out there, as well as hope.