Well this is my first time on this site and honestly I don’t know what I’m doing here all I know is I feel so alone and I don’t know what to do any more I used to self harm a lot when I was younger mainly because it felt like my life was spinning out of control and there was nothing I could do to stop it no one would listen to me not my family or my friends so I did the one thing that I knew I could control and that was to self harm but I was clean for almost 3 years until tonight… Tonight I broke down and did it again I have been under so much stress with my family and school and relationships I feel like I’m drowning and again no one is there for me the past 3 years have been so hard I lost people who I need in my life I feel so alone I’m trying to be a good person but nothing i do is ever good enough at least that’s the way it seems right now self harm seems to be the only thing keeping me from going completely crazy I have no where else to turn I just don’t know what to do anymore
First off, you are definitely not alone. I have self-harmed for 7 years and haven’t in 7 months. It is hard. That option of self-harming is always hanging out there. And when you feel so alone it can feel like the right thing to do. And of course it helps you feel better in the moment but it doesn’t last. It is not worth the scars, embarrassment and shame. You are worth so much more than that. There are other options. Do you see a therapist? This can help a great deal. Do you have a close friend, teacher, counselor that you can just talk to and vent? This is important. TO have someone you can trust. It you don’t, try and find someone. It is good you are reaching out on this site to others. I know exactly how you feel. I struggle with urges to harm constantly. Remember the good feeling self-harm brings is very temporary and it won’t last. Never does, never will. It is a temporary solution to a more permanent problem. Sounds like you might be depressed? If you see a therapist they can hook you up with a psychiatrist who can prescribe meds that may help you. Just reach out to someone, that is so important. You can make it through this. You sound like a smart person and you want to do what is best for you in the long run. Otherwise you wouldn’t be reaching out on this site. Know that there are many, many people just like you. That are struggling as you are. I am one of those people. I decided I don’t want anymore scars as I have so many already. That is helping keep me safe. Everyday is a struggle though. Confide in someone, it will help you. Stay strong and I wish you the best.