Hello everyone

 

I found out yesterday that my 13 yr. Old has been injuring. She decided to tell me in a letter she left in  my car.  When i read the letter I could not stop crying.  After the crying i got angry and felt the guilt set in.  You try to keep an open mind about the things you talk about with your children. You let them know that they can tell you anything.  You tell them you love them no matter what. Then why is it so hard for them to tell you this? I have had personal experience with injuring. I too injured myself when I was younger. After you have children, you tell yourself that you will be the type of mom you always wanted.  I feel so responsible even though I know I am not.

When my daughter was in the sixth grade she was diagnosed with severe anxiety disorder.  She did go to therapy.  It seemed to help her. I too sought out counseling.  After getting a divorce she had hit a wall which I guess contributed to her self injury.  Her father recently got a new girlfriend  and is expecting a baby. I too have moved on. Unfortunately her father did not tell her about the new girlfriend.  This was very hurtful for her. Then to find out that the girlfriend is only half her father’s age was  bombshell. She grew even more depressed. I guess at this point she shut down and didn’t want to take about her feelings.

She often talked about her friend injuring and she told me she was talking to her and giving her support.  I feel this has  also contributed to my daughter’s self injury.  How do I go about asking her to show me? She says she doesn’t want to talk about it. How do i get her to open up and get some help? She stopped going to therapy.  She says she doesn’t want to go back to therapy.  I will be talking to her pediatrician.  Any advice would be helpful. I feel so lost. It seems so much easier to give advice to others about their children. And the advice we give is really good but for some reason we do not use that advice ourselves. Please any helpful techniques will be appreciated.