Tomorrow is the anniversary of my break-up. I have now told myself that it is, was, an emotionally abusive relationship. Yet that doesn’t stop my loneliness. Although I am excited that I have a new chapter in my life, a different sort of depression has set. One that I have been battling for years… the conflict with my self identity, my sexuality. I know that is something that I have written about several times… but that’s because I’ve been trying to come to terms with it for years… possibly about 8 or 9 now. I think thats funny… But I have made progress, I am starting to come out now to friends at least. To begin telling people, or doing assignments in class on the LGBT community. I just wish I could experience a real relationship with somebody. That has not changed… I feel like, If I could kiss somebody, and be in love, it will be okay. I guess that’s the part of me that’s not grown up yet. I’m stronger single… I just need to stay strong. I can’t let my confusion consume me.
Butterfly