I wish I could understand why or who or even when it all got so out of sorts. I thought things were okay and now I’m exhausted from every thought and feeling. My friends pushed and pushed asking what was wrong this morning and now they’re pretending to care. I know I can handle many things, but I’m tired of hiding and lying to me and everyone else. I wish I knew how to ask, I’m40 something and people think that I should just suck it up and move on, but they don’t understand that even I don’t know why I do this.