Well first I would like to say that I am new to blogging and any kind of therapy; but I want to change. I’ve known for awhile that I need help!!! Let me start by telling a little bit about myself. I am 22 years old, I began injuring when I was 11 years old two years after the event. It was easy to hide in a family of 7 there was really no one on one time with anyone. So I went three years without telling anyone and just slowly wasting away. Playing sports, making sure my grades were up to par, keeping my parents happy, and harboring the event became more and more stressful. It all became to much and I took what was left of my bottle of medicine. It wasn’t enough it I didn’t even pass out, I got sick for like two days got very sick nd sweating out of control. I haven’t injured in 5 years but now I’ve moved on to another type of S.I. This method is more discrete and doesn’t allow anyone to have any sort of suspicion. IDK! For some reason it makes me feel better. Almost like forcing all the crazy thoughts of my mind. My boyfriend of 5 years has been my rock in this changing process but I know that I cant allow my change to be surrounded around him because GOD forbid we break up I will spiral out of control and it isn’t healthy for our relationship either so that leads me to this. How do I STOP the thoughts and STOP the S.I????? Any advice will help.
For me personally, I write. A lot. Journaling, emailing my rants to friends, and a new thing that has helped me is stories. If I’m feeling something, I will try and figure out what outcome would I want? Then I write it out in a story and by the end of it, I don’t want to hurt myself anymore. Distractions also help. At times I will just go on Amazon and browse (bad idea if you can’t control your spending), and write down product codes of things I will want in the future. I will do things I don’t have to do, such as laundry and dishes. Reading is also a big distraction. When things get really bad, I call someone. Prayer is also very important to me and has helped tremendously because I know I can always turn to God at any time.
It sounds like there is something that triggered you to start self – injuring. Are you seeing a counselor to work on and talk about the event that you mentioned? That could help; talking about what initially triggered the SI. SI is just as addicting as any type of drug – it helps numb the pain. I started SI when I was about 13 and continued for about 7-8 years until starting again recently. Some things that help me are squeezing ice cubes, writing, music, and distracting myself with house work. If you don’t mind me asking, what was the event you mentioned?