Background:  I am the mother of  an intelligent, charismatic,  funny, outgoing,   good looking 25 year old young man.  His dad and I have been married 31 years, and we also have a 17 year old son.  We all get along very well.   He has his BA in Economics with a minor  in Business, with a goal of one day owning his own restaurant.  He  has been unable to secure a job in his field due to a lack of 3 years experience, which seems to be a requirement for the jobs he has been applying for.    For the past few years he has been working with patients suffering from Traumatic Brain Injury.  The pay in this field isn’t near what it should be, and meanwhile he is paying  on his student loans.   He is a kind and compassionate person. He is searching for employment in his field.  Yesterday his girlfriend of two  years told me in confidence that he, on occasion, becomes overwhelmed with the struggle of it all and will self injure.  It started 10 years ago when he was wresting in High School and was frustrated by his performance.   It  has happened several times since then, apparently both when sober and after having consumed alcohol.     I am heartsick.   She has encouraged him to talk to me, or someone, and he has said he would, but has not as of yet.  He is embarrassed by this behavior, she said.  Do I confront him?  Wait for him to come to me?  The consequences are daunting, and he could potentially end up like one of the people he takes care of!  I don’t understand…He runs, does yoga, loves music, anything outdoors and ostensibly  loves life.   I believed he had good, healthy coping skills.   I was shocked and saddened to find that wasn’t the case.    Can anyone give me suggestions?