Hi, this is my first time on this site and my first post. I was diagnosed with depression sometime in my pre-teen years and have been SI for almost that long. I am in my 30’s now and still struggling. After going almost a year, i have SI twice in the past few months. I am frustrated with always having to fight, everyday, every second.
I have also been a long time injurer. I used to injure to relieve the emotional pain that I was in. I still feel a lot of emotional pain. I fight every day, every second. I have a huge lack of support from my family and am finally reaching out to others like me to let you know that you are not alone. The guilt that we feel after we SI is horrendous and only makes us feel worse. I have not SI in at least 6 months and before it was like every day. I made a promise to myself that I would not do it anymore because it was effecting my 8 yr old daughter. I made a promise to her and I intend to keep it. No more Injuring!!!I still fight the feelings and know that I have to find other coping mechanisms because I get so messed up with no release. But I found something that is more important than me hurting myself that way. Look for something that is that important to you. Have a long talk with yourself make sure that it is so important that you cant do without or want to stop there pain because of what you are doing. Throw away and get rid of the things you use to hurt yourself and give yourself no out. I have found that the urge to SI is still as strong as ever and when I don’t it makes me sick. BUT I have that one important thing that is more important than getting sick to my stomach….Wish you well and I hope this helped.
I used to self harm in my early teens. Had a long period of only minor Si which I put down more to the alternate self medication of alcohol and drugs. Now I have given up on those and am on prescription medication. Unhappily the Si has returned. I have lists of distractions and fight the urge actively but not always successfully. Can anyone help that has stopped that can perhaps share their “lightbulb” moment and / or the distraction choices that most helped.
Thank you.