I can’t believe I’m going to say this but: not harming myself is starting to become a good thing. I won’t lie in saying that: I want to do it. Every single day, and I have considered getting more stuff (if I did that, I would so tell my accountability team, by the way), and just going back to it altogether, because, well, it is easier. Even if it is totally unhealthy and can potentially kill me. Yet at the same time, it feels great being able to: actually cry (because I can’t stop myself anymore), and express my opinions, thoughts, and feelings just like everyone else can. Does it make me want to self-harm when I express myself? Sure, because I am still so afraid that people will get very angry with me for thinking differently than them or expressing my feelings so openly. Yet I realize that if I’m not being rude in any way, then why is it so bad? If people have a problem with it, then that is on them and not me. There is something freeing about that.