I took a break a bit from schoolwork yesterday and wrote down pretty much all the incidents I remember that could have made me the way I am/influence how I interact with others.

What I do have to wonder, though, is knowing all of that……….you do have to move forward. And some people simply refuse to change or apologize, even though that change and apology is really what you as a person need for closure from them. But how is it really possible to move forward if I can’t let go of the anger, solely because that anger has been beneficial to me in more ways than it has harmed me or made me hurt myself? And some things you just have to stay angry at, because you don’t know any other way to be about them?

The obvious solution would be to kick some people out of my life, I feel. But when they’re related to you, and saw you grow, you can’t exactly do that. Also, there’s no guarantee that putting new people in your life is going to make the situation any better, and I’m someone that really does operate on guarantees and deadlines. Everyone has problems.

I don’t even know. Am I just supposed to become a hermit? Am I just supposed to accept when people screw up and forgive them all the time when it is not in my nature to do so?