My self worth is tied to getting a job and I don’t know how to change this. I am struggling to hang on, be patient and not get discouraged everyday. It is tough and I am getting depressed more every day that goes by and I get another rejection or nothing at all. I am an educated person with experience and I can’t even get noticed. I know competition is tough, but I thought it would be easier than this. I am an introverted person too, which doesn’t help matters – especially when it comes to ‘networking’. But I do try. I feel that my efforts are a waste. I feel my education has been a waste. I am working part-time right now just to get some money. I recently saw some of the people I graduated with (who now all have jobs), as well as a person who interviewed me (then rejected me) a few months ago while I was working. It took everything in me to wait until I got to the bathroom to cry. I just feel so inferior. I know it’s not their fault and I know I can choose how to react and what kind of attitude to have, but it is difficult to remain positive.
I recently saw some family and all they wanted to know was what job I had or was getting. Not about how I am doing, how my life is beyond that, but only about a job -as if I am not worthy unless I have a job that compares to what other members of my family are doing. I feel like such a loser (for lack of a better word). I feel stuck and not moving forward in life. I worked so hard for my education, and I feel like I have nothing to show for it, and those that are hiring don’t appreciate it. I feel stupid, embarrassed and ashamed. I should be doing more with my life at this point in my life and I am not, and everyone can see it and I feel like I am getting judged for it. I sometimes get so bitter and discouraged SI seems like a reasonable outlet to take out my frustrations because I feel like the position I am in is all my fault and it all comes back to punishing myself for where I am at. I know SI won’t help or change anything, but sometimes I feel as if SI gives me what I deserve.
Blueray,
It’s awful going to school for something that you want to do and not being able to use the skills that you have learned because of your current situation. Furthermore, it’s hurtful when people don’t care to know about the deeper parts of your life. Lean on the Lord, what you have learned, and what you have to offer others. Someone is bound to see the skills you have to offer and hire you. I know from what I have seen in your comments to other posts that you are very good at validating the feelings of others. That is a beautiful skill and oh so important.