“Well, after thirty-seven days of not harming myself, I failed tonight. Something happened today that I got upset about. The situation was in all honesty, kind of uncomfortable. The weird thing is, I knew that those involved didn’t mean to make me upset or feel uncomfortable in any way, so I got really angry at myself and felt really awful for feeling these things, like I should just get over it. So that’s why I self-harmed. Because I felt wrong for my feelings, and felt as if I just… couldn’t talk about how awful I felt inside.”
That is what I wrote to one of my accountability members last night. What he wrote back to me touched my heart.
“I am so sorry that you were hurt. I pray that you will heal in your body and soul. While we both hate that the count ends at 37, I am ready to start counting again and I hope that you are too. Blessed be the God who loves us at our weakest and helps us be strong.”
What struck me is the fact that he is so willing to walk alongside me in all of this. NO anger or judgment, he is willing to start right back over with me. He understands how hard this is for me and his gentle encouragement keeps me going. Indeed, praise God for people like that, the Lord knows I wouldn’t be as far as I am without them! That is truly what accountability is all about: walking alongside people, not judging them. Because when you walk alongside someone in their struggles, your heart is truly in the right place.