The past few weeks have been really hard for me. I’ve been feeling extremely low and battling with suicidal thoughts almost daily. My eating has gotten out of control again and now I feel like I’m so huge and worthless. I feel like everything is spiraling out of control and I can’t seem to find a way to get a grip. I’ve been feeling so horrible that I’ve been really concerned about my personal safety, I’m afraid that I’m going to injure again or that something worse might happen. I feel so alone. I had been going to therapy once a week and then things started getting worse for me and I was going to go to therapy twice a week. I haven’t seen my therapist in 3 weeks I think. When I tried to set up an appointment a week ago he wouldn’t set anything up for me for yet another 2 weeks, so I have a week and a half left before he’s willing to see me. I’ve been feeling so depressed that I really don’t know what to do anymore. I was afraid to ask my therapist to try to schedule me an appointment sooner. I think that my therapist wants rid of me so I just feel horrible about trying to set anything up with him, but at the same time I desperately need to be able to talk to a therapist. I feel so alone right now and I’m afraid because I just keep sliding further and further into my depression. I have too much anxiety about phone calls to be able to call any hotlines so I really just don’t have anything/anyone to turn to. I’m just falling further and further into the abyss and I don’t know if I’ll be able to make it out.