My child is a second semester freshman and doing well. However, she’s now suffering from acute depression and does self injury. She tells me I wouldn’t understand why she does it if she explained it to me. I’m trying to be patient,calm understanding but the father in me wants to take the old school approach that’ say you better get over it! I know I can’t do it. My predicament is she has 4 weeks of school. Do I take her back and let her finish or pull her out and get help now. She says she feels she would try to hurt herself again when she feels depressed. Any advice??? Thanks
Here are some thoughts for you. I am not a parent, but here is what those few who know my secret have done for me that has been very helpful. Above all, listen to her. Don’t focus on the injuring but on what she is feeling. Be patient, this will take a lot of time and patience. Educate yourself about self-injury, I promise you there are loads of stuff out there on this topic. As far as school goes, I would sit down and talk with her about it. Ask her what does she think really needs to happen. If you let her have a say in the decision, things will be a lot more likely to go smoothly.
Being a mother who was a SI I can understand where she is coming from on the part ” you wouldn’t understand!” Is it right no, you being her father are trying to look out for the welfare of her well being. There are books out there for you read on SI. I wouldn’t be forceful with her, trying sitting down and simply talking to her. Even if it’s nothing at all related to her SI. Often enough children have a major trust issue with their parents, or think they are being judge or not good enough, don’t stand up to their parents high expectations. The best way to help her is by you just listening, even if it’s something you really don’t want to hear. ( I have a 13 yr old daughter who puts way to much pressure on herself, always trying to the best of everything, sometimes who is very active in sports, high honor roll, cheerleading Cpt etc. etc. Yes, I’m very proud of her, but at times I need to bring her focus back to herself and remind her she’s only human and she needs to love, honor, respect and cherish herself, as well Rome wasn’t built in a day! If you have any more questions, I’d be glad to help!
Thanks LilRaven
When we were talking the other night , she was upset because she had a B in a class she felt she could get an A! I’m telling her a B is fine sweetheart. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. I try to make sure she knows I’m not pressuring her to do anything but do the right think and make good choices. She’s asurred me that she’s not thinking of hurting herself. But she will just start crying. I ve got her set up with a therapist next week
Thanks again, it’s a relief to converse with others that’s been there.
I also have to add that I truly truly appreciate your willingness to ask for advice on how to deal with this. This is something I always appreciate from parents, because my parents would not do that. I myself am a college student having struggled with this for four years, and they don’t know and will never know. My aunt knows and so do a few very trusted friends. So I just wanted to thank you for taking time to figure out how to best help your daughter, because that is not something every parent is so willing to do.
Thank you and I’m so happy you have seemed to be overcoming this challenge. I thank you for your candid advice and I pray that your journey in this process will continue to be rewarding to others like me and victorious for you in your life! I’m doing more research and if you ever need to bounce something off an individual, please feel free to reach out to me.