Hello there, I haven’t posted in quite a long time, mostly because I didn’t have access to a computer. I have a lot to get off my chest. My mom passed away October 11, 2013, needless to say I’m not dealing well and I’ve never been one to ask for help until things got really bad. I was doing a lot of things that weren’t good for my body, I’m really trying to be a better person and become closer to God, I don’t know why I’m finding it so hard. My sister’s are like polar opposites. Anna is the Christian and goes to church every Sunday and Jen is the more liberal one who has more of an open mind to things. I feel like I’m part of both of them, which I suppose I am, but I’m seriously trying to find myself and I’m finding it rather difficult, there’s has been self-injury in the past 5 months but I’m really trying to fight the urges but it’s difficult at times and I just want to feel better so I just give in and at the time I don’t care but then there’s the flood of guilt that comes after. Due to everything I landed myself in a mental ward from January 15-20th which was a good thing after I got over the fact that I thought I didn’t need to be there and that I’d be okay doing things on my own but obviously I’m not doing well on my own at all so I am really trying hard to reach out. Now that I let my mental illness completely take over my life I’m loosing my life I thought I had, I had to get rid of my beloved dog on Monday but he will have a better life than one I could ever provide him right now. He moved to house with a young couple, 2 young kids, another dog, and a fenced in yard so I know he will be much happier without me, as much as it hurt I knew it had to be done because he needs a more stable family and I really feel like he is with the right family plus they said I can come visit! 😀 I suppose that’s all I have for now, sorry it’s so long. Thank you for reading.