Say When It begins to hurt too much. Say When Someone you love very much has just stepped over the line you never in 1,000,000 years thought they would cross. Say “what happened?” when they do it over and over and over again… Say when, the ones you love think you’re a joke. A mistake. Think you’re someone you’re not. Stop loving you. Hate you. Spit on you. Think you’re nothing. It feels like it never stops until that moment when, we break. And give in to what we strive so HARD every day to be better than. To get over. To forget we have these issues. Why does it feel like the people who should be supporting us every day are always the ones letting us down the most. Every one is suppose to be entitled to make mistakes correct? So how come some people apparently have the right away to say, do, express whatever emotions they have and as soon as someone else tries to do the same in response they get shut down immediately? Is this what we call communication now? Is this what life has come to? Why when the last thing we really need is more isolation, does it seem like that is all we are driven to? There are many many times I wish I wasn’t they way I am. Every day I wake up I either have already given up or convince myself to give this new day I have been given another shot, a new perspective. I tell myself I’m gonna be happier. I’m gonna try harder. I’m gonna make the most of this day and nothing is gonna get next to me. But of course more times than not, there’s always someone or something that manages to get whatever hope I had out of me for the day.I’ve officially reached the point where I’m fairly certain this is not going to get better. It’s either surrender or surrender I feel like. But one thing is certain. Open communication is not an option in this case anymore. I do miss the days where it was on the table, but its not anymore and people need to open their eyes and realise that it just MIGHT have been their actions and their attitudes that took that option away from them. And no. I will not go back and I will not change my mind on the matter because there is nothing to go back to. At the point in time where that was an option things where 100% different. you can’t snap your fingers or take back words in order to turn back the hands of time. Once those things have been said and those things have been done they are done. It’s over and I’m sorry, but if you think you haven’t changed you’re diluting yourself. Everyone changes for the better or worse. Some people change for the worse and don’t even realise it. Or maybe sometimes it isn’t even for the worse. Maybe its just that the changes they have made they can’t make having the same relationships they once had/have/thrived on. But part of life is opening your eyes and realising that you might have hurt someone. You can’t always chalk it up to someone changing and simpling not liking your new attitude or things you have to say. And if you don’t recognize that about yourself, then you might have to accept the fact that, you simply don’t know that person/those people, At All Anymore….