I don’t know what to do right now. I don’t have any friends that I can talk to about anything that I’m experiencing right now and I can’t go to my family either. I used an online counselor chat thing yesterday and it wasn’t really helpful, the counselor tried to help but still wasn’t really able to grasp everything that I’m battling with. I’ve been debating back and forth about setting up an appointment with the university’s psychologist for awhile now and I finally got the nerve to pick up the phone to try to schedule an appointment today and the person that answered was really short with me and almost seemed mad that I tried setting up an appointment. Apparently you can only call on certain days if you’re trying to set up an appointment as a student but I didn’t know this so stupid me, I called on the wrong day. It’s really frustrating because the university’s website says that you just have to call the number, it doesn’t say that you can only call on a certain day. I feel so overwhelmed by everything and I can’t help but feel irritated that I couldn’t set an appointment up because it took a lot of nerve for me to dial the number and now I have to wait four days before I can try to call again and I know that it’s going to be a lot harder for me to call now that I’ve been turned away once. I feel like I’m on the verge of exploding. I’m so occupied with all the emotional turmoil that I have going on right now that I can’t even begin to focus on any of the three projects that I have to do this weekend. I feel like such a failure for beginning to fall behind in college when I don’t even have a month of it completed yet. I wish that I could just go to sleep and wake up and everything be okay again but I know that won’t happen. Things aren’t okay now and they’re definitely not going to be okay again anytime soon. I just wish that there was a way for me to vent some of the emotional build up that I have inside but there’s no one for me to do that with. I’m afraid to try the online counselor thing again because I just did it yesterday and I don’t think they want people to use it everyday. I just don’t know what to do, I really don’t want to self-harm again but I don’t know how else to find relief right now.