I have plenty of time to think. Think of how I am and the way that I am. One thought that I always have is that I’m useless and mean nothing to the ones that say I’m a friend or says they care about me. I don’t do a whole lot at the moment. I don’t have a job so I have a lot of time to myself. One thing that I do to keep my mind on other things is write and I read.

It’s my writing that works the best though. I can put myself somewhere else and let everything that is bottled inside out. I can put how I feel down and have it be someone else in a way. Some could say that it could be a cry for help.

With my writing, I have asked a few people to read it for me. One loved what I wrote but didn’t ask me about some of the things in it. Especially parts that should have stood out as needing help. Another person I don’t think even really bothered to read any of it after they said that they would. I don’t think that it was too much to ask. I wasn’t asking them to go out and buy something or to give me anything but feedback in return.

I even give them the thing to read. This was someone that I thought was a friend. Someone that I thought that I could talk to but I was wrong in so many ways. How do you know who you can really talk to about things? How can you tell when someone actually cares and really wants to help???????