Well, my family is out enjoying their weekend while I get to stay home to do homework and then go to work.  Im tired of my schedule.  But at the same time, Im enjoying this alone time.  But I dont want to be doing homework.  Ive been sitting here for an hour and just flipping through the internet looking for these sources that I need.  And I keep finding them, reading them, and then zoning out.  I dont know what to do.  This assignment isnt hard.  I shoudlve been done a while ago.  I write 5 to 7 page papers in less than an hour! This isnt like me at all.  I shouldnt only be half way done.  This makes me want to go out and buy myself stuff.  But I cant do that either because I have zero money until payday.  And I know thats wrong too because I am refocusing my needs in a different way and thats not healthy for my budget.  I know I will one day have a career, have the money to be able to spend freely while working one job.  But right now its just hard.  But I need to look for the positives in everything I guess.  I already allowed one breakdown, i cant let it happen again.  So starting today I will look for something positive in most everything I do.  Even if I hate it.  Even if ts driving me crazy.  So the silver lining to this blog right now is not si-ing.  And having to work later….i guess is to be able to make all my payments and stay current.  One step at a time, Ill make it through today too, mainly because I cant afford to break apart again, because its taking a heck of a time to put myself back together perfectly.  But I guess the cracks eventually show, because once something is broken, its never the same again huh?  Oh well.. time to go look for the positives.