I stopped for a while and I hate it. I hate the feelings and the thoughts. I hate the tension. I hate not being able to calm down. It constantly feels like my insides are trying to explode. I got rid of my tools so I won’t be tempted, but it’s all I can do to not go buy more. I thought stopping was supposed to be a good thing. I thought it was all about living a better life. It sure doesn’t feel that way. I think I know why everyone else drinks.