I feel restless and anxious. I can’t relax. There is something in the back of my mind telling me I should be doing something. But doing what, I don’t know. I don’t like this feeling at all. I feel like I am missing something, and that I don’t have control of whatever it is I am restless about. When I feel like this I start to get really sensitive about my actions and others actions. Is it my fault he/she is not talking to me. Why did that person look at me like that? Why did I have to say/act/be like that? Why do I keep messing up? Why don’t people want to be with me?
I start to get super sensitive to everything going on. I start to blame myself for everything even when there is nothing to be blamed for. I don’t like this spot I am in. I wish I had a friend I could call up to go walking/hiking/biking/hang out with. I think when I get this restless, nervous energy I start to feel insecure and that people are angry with me. I don’t know how to break out of this mood while also fighting the uge to SI because of this feeling of ‘I did something wrong (even though I’m not quite sure what) and I need to punish myself’.