Hi. This is my first post and I want to share with you something that’s very difficult for me.
In about 4 years I’ve been struggling with myself. I’ve felt so alone and I have hurt myself in a long period of time. I know it’s not helping, but I keep doing it anyway. In these four years I’ve been together with this guy Robert. He is two years older than me, but I don’t think it has anything to say. When I first met him he helped me with all my issues, but I’m going to tell this short. It’s been up and down between us all time because he has always found an other girl and stuff. No matter what he did to me I always forgave him, and I regret that now. This time I think it’s over for good. After this I can’t forgive him, but my issues has become the worst.
It’s not only because of him I have this problems…
My family are in a bad economic situation and because of that we all are having fights and we all treat each other badly, we are yelling and screaming. It’s not good at all and we are a big family. I have my mum, dad, elder sister (21), younger sister (14), younger brother (4) and younger sister (1). I don’t feel my parents are here for me. I can’t talk to them about anything because I feel like they don’t care. I only have my eldest sister. She is so nice to me.
Is there any of you who have a great word to say about this, what should i do? I can’t go on living like this anymore. I miss Robert already, even that he broke my heart for the fifth time… please, someone.
This is advice I wrote to someone else elsewhere that might be helpful. The question was about someone who couldn’t get over a cheating ex, so much of the advice about what to do to help you forget and move on might be helpful to you as well, so here it is:
It’s hard to forget someone who’s hurt you for whatever reason. It’s kind of like an addiction that needs to be broken. I know, I’ve been there before, and only once I moved on and time passed did I realize how unhealthy the relationship was.
In my case I eventually ended up in a happier relationship with someone else. And in the period between the break-up and the new relationship, I strengthened friendships, attended to hobbies and activities I enjoyed, and connected to new people as I “went out in to the world” (because there would be times I’d hole up in my room depressed) in an attempt to fill the void. I also kept going to church, as I’ve always usually been a regular attendee at Sunday Mass. God really helped me get through to where I am today, into a better life situation.
So don’t give up on moving forward. And let go of the past and let God take care of the present and future.
Cultivate healthy relationships with those who are in your life and who want you to be in theirs, and keep fostering a sense of friendship, family, and commitment (and help make the world a better place, with kindness and smiles–for example).
You just might end up attracting even more people in your life as you begin to radiate an inner joy from cultivating your soul, people who will radiate the same to you and strengthen your soul, treating you with actual kindness.
Perhaps this might sound like it’s coming from a guy who is too optimistic. But I think that I couldn’t have gotten to this place without first having gone through the heartbreak I did. At the time, I don’t know if I could ever feel the way I do now, but “seasons change”
It’s a cliche to say, but when one door closes, another one opens. Focus on the open door as best as you can.
You can make it. It might require time, nature, and patience, but it’s worth it. And you’ll no longer need your ex’s validation, having a life that nurtures you in a more loving way than she could ever give.
Stay humble, and continue to ask for help when you feel you need it, not just here, but among your friends, family, and community. You may eventually find yourself with the strength to help others who’ve gone through what you have similarly gone through and realize, as you’re doing so, how much a better person you have become because of the obstacles you’ve endured. I kind of know that feeling as well 🙂 So keep the faith, pray, and take care of yourself and others.
“All will be well in the end. If it’s not well, it’s not the end.”
Thanks for reading!
May peace be with you.
-Derrick
superder81@yahoo.com
Also, keeping a journal might help you to get things off your chest or out of your mind as you put them on paper. And I’m glad you’ve got your sister to talk to. If you need others too, I’d recommend talking to your guidance counselor at school who should be able to help out, not just with school stuff, but personal stuff as well.
Peace be with you, and thanks for reading. 🙂
“All will be well in the end. If it’s not well, it’s not the end.” (A favorite quote of mine)
-Derrick
superder81@yahoo.com