I made it through this weekend without SI’ing. It’s a small accomplishement, but I’ll take it. I know I still have plenty of work to do. I’m def not out of the water yet. But I am starting to feel better. I’ve hashed some things out with the BF that were bothering me and did it in a non-emotional, con-confrontational way, and it was actually very productive. That and I am finally starting to lose a little weight. It’s soooooo crazy how my mind is affected by that. I wish I could figure out what that is about. I did use substances too much this weekend. I’ll admit that. I still need to work on moderation. Just not very good at it. True addict at heart here. And the idea of quitting is just not possible right now. I know that’s pathetic. But no, not gonna happen.
So I will take this small victory and hope it continues.
I’m kinda at you stage in recovery too, glad to know I’m not the only one with a LONG way to go! It’s worth it though! The feeling you get when you know you’re recovering, it’s, well, indescribable.