Hello, I’m a S.A.F.E. alumni and my stepdaughter is in a residential treatment facility for numerous things, among them self-injury. She is 14, almost 15. They gave her a medication to “help with SI”. I’m not happy at all about this…. I feel strongly, based on what I was taught, that stopping self-injury is 99% a self-willed choice. One cannot simply take a pill and not self-injure. They have to CHOOSE not to. They have to come to the realization that it does not pay off in the end. It took me years to get to that place. My stepdaughter is very troubled and will absolutely not participate in the therapy that is being offered nor is she trying to “get better” in other mental health areas. She is on numerous other meds. I am highly skeptical. Has anyone here ever heard of it? Wendy or Karen? I trust the staff and founders of this program so much more than any doctor treating her right now. Thanks in advance for any professional or personal opinions.
p.s. I originally posted this on the Facebook page but then deleted it for privacy’s sake so if anyone saw it there first, that is why it is gone. Many thanks!
Hello and thanks for writing. My name is Pam and I’m a Clinical Therapist with the SAFE program and one of the blog moderators.
There is no medication that has been found to stop self injury, at least not that we have heard of. There are however, medications that can help with depression, anxiety or other issues that can happen at the same time self injury is happening. While we don’t believe in over medication or medicating all the feelings away – there are medications that can be very helpful to people who self injure.
What I would suggest is talking to your stepdaughter’s doctor about this as they know her unique situation, and you can hopefully express your concerns. I’m not a doctor and I have never met your stepdaughter, so I’m not sure if medication is right for her or not.
Yes, I do agree that a large part of stopping self injury is making the choice not to hurt yourself, and getting the help and support needed to help make that possible. Maybe offering the book “Bodily Harm” to her would help get the ball rolling in a good direction? She could read that while at the facility she is currently in.
Please feel free to write at info@selfinjury.com if you have further questions.
Thanks and best wishes to your family.
Pam
From my personal experience: I’ve taken a lot
of different medications over the years from antidepressants, anti anxiety, anti psychotics , mood stabilizers, and none of them have helped with my self injury. In fact, the antipsychotics and anti anxiety meds increased the urge to SI because they made me feel so numb and out of touch I wanted to feel alive and real again. That’s just my experience, good luck.
Thank you for your responses.
Pam, I tried Bodily Harm with her two years ago and she wanted nothing to do with it. Now she is in a much worse place – hallucinations, several diagnoses such as Reactive Attachment Disorder, early onset Schizophrenia, Borderline Personality Disorder.
I tell you those diagnoses not because they define her but to show some of the predominating features if you are familiar with those traits. I hate diagnoses, myself; I was labeled far too young and wrong, at that. SAFE taught me to look beyond labels and look at the root of things and tackle those things head on – not the “diagnoses.”
Anyway, much of my stepdaughter’s traits are manipulation, delusions, believing things that aren’t true to very frightening degrees, falsely accusing parents of abuse, eating disorder, SI, of course…. so much ….
Her doctors are so clueless about what it really takes to work on and through SI.
This is more of a general rant, but I so wish more of society was educated about SI based on what the SAFE program teaches.
I agree and know there are many medications for depression and anxiety that can help one with the depression and anxiety than precipitate SI, but I also know that a pill can’t make it go away.
This drug stops that endorphine rush that those who SI get…. it’s also used for alcoholics and drug addicts — to “make” them lose that “high.”
I’ve read people’s comments about it on other forums having to do with this drug in particular and they rave about how it’s helped them with cravings.
But wouldn’t the endorphine blockers stop happy “highs” too? Like the high a teen girl gets from seeing a boy she likes? Or winning a race and feeling a great adrenaline spike? I think this is going to dull my stepdaughter to the point of making her even more depressed.
I noticed that the name of the medication was deleted from my post. I apologize, is there a rule that that can’t be talked about? Can you explain why to me? I think my email is linked to this account. I don’t want to offend anybody or hurt anybody, but I think knowing what the specific drug is could be helpful if anyone has tried it.
Thank you in advance for your understanding and for sharing experiences and feedback.
I value the SAFE program so much and wish my stepdaughter could qualify. She just does not want to stop and has other symptoms that would disqualify her.
Thank you again.
Hi again,
I thought I’d write a quick reply about why I removed the specific name of the medication. Each individual is different, and medications are prescribed for different reasons. Because we are not doctors and don’t know your stepdaughter, I don’t know that anyone here could give you a very specific answer about a specific medication.
Many years ago we took a vote with people on this blog. Did they want it to be trigger free, or did they want us to leave it uncensored (as it was at the time). There are SO many unsafe and triggering sites on the internet, they voted they wanted this site to be trigger free, with moderation of comments, etc. I’m sure there are many other forums you could go to and ask specifics, it’s just not something we do here. I haven’t posted the guidelines in a while – so I’ll try and do that again soon. They are in “Messages From Safe” – about the trigger free guidelines. You didn’t do anything wrong, how can you know a rule when a specific rule isn’t listed?
I hope that answers your question, but feel free to ask more :).
Thanks. Pam
Thanks, Pam. I totally understand. I remember well how I had to learn to talk trigger-free fifteen years ago when I was at SAFE, myself. I did not know that extended to names of medications, but I understand. Thanks for your explanation and patience. 🙂
Hi!
I am also a SAFE Alum. SAFE gave me lots of tools. However, I have struggled with the desire to continue to self injure. I have gone three years currently without harming myself, but it is still a struggle. As a result, my doctor has me on one of the medications that you are mentioning. It seems to really help with my urges. I would recommend it to anyone who was in my situation. If you want to talk or have any questions, contact me at laceylocator@gmail.com
Good luck!
sterlingroses,
thank you. I emailed you. Thank you for sharing your story and congratulations on being 3 years SI-free!! That is a huge accomplishments. And I know everyone here will agree that struggling with urges is quite common. In my opinion, that is what makes us human, to an extent. But SAFE was so good at teaching me tools on how to cope and how to identify my feelings. I hope and pray that you will lean on what SAFE taught you and what you know in your heart. I look forward to talking with you.
p.s. funny anecdote: I originally wrote “SAFE was so good at teaching US tools on how to identify OUR feelings”….. but then I remembered the “I” statements and how important they are and I flashed back to a SAFE staff member sitting in my group 15 or so years ago teaching us all that. 🙂
So I changed my sentence to “I” just now. 😉
See? 15 yrs later, still making an impact.