I am so tired of fighting with my mother. She is literally going to drive me insane. Everytime that I get into a fight with her I want to SI. I am so sick and tired of it. I can’t take it anymore. It is so friekn stressful. The name calling. I can’t stand it. My grandfather on my dad’s side is dying and my mother acts like she cares. I know she doesn’t. She just cares about her new husband. Stupid Dave. I can’t take it. So my sister tells me to take my 4 month old ipod down to the pool so we can check the time. When we go to leave it slips out of my hands and falls onto the ground and cracks. Now I am all mad cuz not only only is my ipod broken but also my computer. So I told my mom and she was like “Well Samantha, that is your fault, have fun with your new cracked screen. And she says that I have a spoiled-brat mentality. O and even better, earlier today she comes into the house and sees dirty dishes and goes, “jeez Samantha, when do you ever stop eating, you just keep putting on more weight dont you?” And she has the audacity to tell me that the things I say to her hurt? Are you serious? The things she says to me hurts me too ya know. Everything she says to me makes me what to SI but i know I can’t. I have scars and I don’t want anymore. I just don’t even know what to do anymore. I am trying so hard to stay strong but I can’t. I cry myself to sleep every single night. I just can’t take it. I haven’t SIed in 8 months and I definitely don’t want to start up again now or else it will be hard to stop. I need advice. Someone please help
That is so hurtful and upsetting that she is saying things to you like that. Nobody deserves that kind of talk. You deserve to be understood. Your problems (like the cracked screen), are important to you. And the comment about your weight was just not necessary. I know what it is like to be verbally abused like that. I did not receive the exact comments as you are, but I was verbally abused a lot growing up, which eventually lead me to SI. Before SI came along, I actually used to fantasize a lot about having a different family that treated me better. I’m actually thinking that is why I started injuring later than most might expect (age eighteen was when it started for me), because I had that place in my head to go to when things got bad, and that worked for me for a while. I was finally able to leave my situation and find a place of my own, but I understand that this is not an option for everyone. I would suggest getting some counseling for yourself if you don’t have that already, and reaching out to others for help as much as you can. Also, finding some things to distract yourself might help as well. For me, reading was a huge part of my life (and still is). Not only do I love it, but it did help me to get away from all of the chaos in my life. Hopefully this is helpful!