Everything has led to this moment. My depression and self-harm has gotten to the point where I’m more than disgusted with myself. There is no one I can talk to, my own mother thinks I’m “faking” or doing it for attention. I would never fake it. I didn’t ask to be this way. I’m a disgusting person. Everything I do is wrong. I’m so sorry for everyone I have bothered, which I’m sure is a lot. I just want someone to care, I know that’s selfish, but that’s all I need. Please.
It is very frustrating that your mom does not understand what you are going through, and it’s lonely when it seems that nobody cares. Please know that wanting/needing someone to care about you is not selfish. It is something that we all need, because Relationships are important for healing and growth.
I know it’s hard… and it feels like no one cares and it does stink that your mother thinks you’re faking. but my therapist told me that we can only take care of our feelings. and you are not alone and your not bothering me.