Hello this is the first time I have ever been to this site and also to a SI support page. I began injuring when I was 13 and was eventually hospitalized for it when I was 14. The only solution or problem solving I did was switched from SI to drug abuse. Been clean and sober for 15 years. Now 20+ years later I have found myself injuring again and having a very difficult time stopping. I have been working with a therapist but hard for me to talk about it because I don’t feel like people understand. I am not trying to kill myself, I am only trying to take this intense emotional pain away. It allows me to feel alive for even just a short few seconds. People don’t understand.
My partner of 14 years has recently requested a separation and I find myself feeling like SI is the only option for me to “keep going” and release the sadness and frustration built up inside. I just don’t have anyone I can talk to about this. I feel like anyone I may reach out to is only going to judge me for the injuring and not listen to how I feel.
I wish they would have had these types of support groups when I was a teenager. Going through this as an adult is such a frustrating feeling of aloneness and shame. I just don’t know where to go from here.