I got on my knees and prayed. I asked god to take this sickness away, away from my mind. I’ve been drinking a lot. The big book has a line about “pitiful incomprehensible demoralization”. That was me today. I left my class and stumbled to my car to lay down,’I was sick in the parking lot and scared and my feet were outside the door and I fell asleep for a few hours and woke up. I remember a guy asking me if I was ok. What am I running from???? Why do I feel the need to be in another reality from the time I wake up until the time I go to sleep. I was so gross today. I am so ashamed and disgusted with myself. This woman stayed on the phone with me earlier until I passed out. She is a kind soul. I have not SI’ed in a few weeks. I wanted to today but I have no energy and I don’t want more scars today. I am so scared and lost right now 🙁