I just do not understand. I just want to SI every day. I think about it all of the time. My life has been so stressful lately, so depressing, and filled with such a complicated stream of emotions that SI seems to be the only answer. I feel alone, so i want to SI. I feel depressed, so I want to SI. I feel angry, so I want to SI. I want to control something in my out-of-control life, so I want to SI. I have never thought about it as much as I have been thinking about it here lately. I just don’t know how much longer my thoughts will just be thoughts before they turn in to actions