There’s so much that I feel like I want to say … not just want, but need. I need to talk about things, they’re getting so bottled up inside. I don’t know if I can stand the building pressure much longer. I feel as if everything has been twisted and wrenched into impossible positions and scenarios. I wish I could find the courage to talk to somebody about what’s going on inside of my head but I can’t. I can’t do it no matter how badly I need to. I’m terrified of going to a counselor but the longer I postpone it the more I feel that I need to go. I need help figuring out what’s wrong … I need help making the pain stop. I’m falling more behind in school … I recognize it but can’t will myself to do anything about it. I can’t get myself to do anything when I get home from school, all I do is wilt. I lose the ability to do anything when I get home, I’m just so exhausted. Then my mind races through everything that’s wrong and I become preoccupied until late at night. Only then after I’ve suffered through the emotional rollercoaster ride can I begin to consider doing any of my school stuff. By then I’m so exhausted I can’t do it and then I’m so horribly tired at school. I don’t register my classes … I merely go class to class, carrying out the motions and nothing more. How could I have let this happen? I’m fading away, things are getting really bad again. People are noticing at school … really noticing. I’m concerned that so many people are noticing but I can’t find the energy to cover it all back up. I know that I don’t want it exposed not like this yet there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m barely hanging on each day, how can I possibly put the mask back on? I don’t know what to do, I just wish that it would all go away