This is my first post on this site. I have been looking for some kind of online help with people that experince this everyday struggle like I do. Since this is my first post, I’m just going to write about how this struggle with self injury came about. I’d love to hear some of your comments for support, advice, and over all help. Just like I’m going to do for you all.
My struggle started in 6th grade. My parents had been going through a terrible divorce and my father wasn’t the best one you could have. Through out my life I had seen my father constantly hit my mom and his family. He also used cruel verbal abuse. When 6th grade came, I had completely dropped all vistitation with him and I haven’t talked to him since. It’s hard to have to throw your own father away but its better being out of that environment. So when this happened I didn’t understand why my own dad didnt care. Why wasn’t good enough? I turned to SI to help the over all emotional pain but on the scale of 1-10 I’d say I was on a 4 on the self harm scale. It wasnt the worst but its still self harm. I’m now almost 16 and I had stopped self harm everyday it was more of a trigger occurance that made me self harm. Now, I can say I’m on the 10 of the scale. The main trigger that made me this way was I lost my virginity a few months back and the guy now blocked me from his life and wont even look at me anymore. That feeling of not being good enough has taken over my body like a writer’s pen takes over paper. I’m trying to be happy but nothing seems to make me happy anymore. I feel lost and I have no where to turn anymore. I don’t know how to stop or even deal with this everyday struggle any longer.