Done.

I’m just about ready to give up. You know I’ve been thinking lately, and for a while I could kinda see myself with some kind of future. Not so much lately. A lot of things have changed since then and now? Now I think I’ve gone back to  what my thought process was after my mom passed away. Sure I have dreams but what’s the point in pursuing them? Every time I am even halfway content in my life something gets turned upside down. And all of the stress that stems from my job ALONE sometimes is enough to drive me insane. I just wanted my life to quiet down, have less stress, and not go to bed Sunday nights absolutely DREADING what was waiting for me at work on Monday. I can’t win in my personal life. I can’t rely on the FEW friends I have. Everyone is always just out for themselves and it’s probably always gonna be this way too. I think I’m doing everything I can and I get told by the people I care about the most that it’s not enough. I got told by one of the last TWO family members I have left that we’re NOT family. I’ve had the love of my life turn ditch me like I was a bag of garbage from 2001. I’ve had my former best friend come crawling back over and over and over again, and why? Because she’s rebellious and lonely and looking for an excuse to act out. I’m tired of always being wrong! Yeah I know I’m not always right, but why is everything I like/say/do/think wrong?? Can anyone TELL me why I’M such a disappointment? What did I ever do that was lazy or not honest to goodness workingmyselftodeathtomakeotherslivesalittleeasier and then you tell me its wrong to WISH that it was appreciated ?? Well by all means I’m sorry I want to be treated like a human being and not a piece of dirt. I didn’t think that was such an outlandish request but apparently it is. Anyway, rant over. Point is, as always I’m wrong, I don’t wanna be apart of this world anymore. I feel as though I’ve suffered enough and i have every right to want to be appreciated once in a blue moon. I’m warn out of trying so so hard. No one is there for me at the end of the day when I’m so hurt and frustrated I’m crying my eyes out. No one is around when I’m bored to tears and so very lonely, not even my best friend has time for me. I have no one to even give me a hug if I needed one. I’m done I’m purely done.