Tonight I am not anxious that I’m still awake. I feel strong. I don’t like the expression “having tools”. I like “skillful” – because it is something I am and becoming – it’s a matter of identify that is me – its not an external thing like a hammer. I can’t be separated from it. That’s my anonymous message right now. Emotional challenges and emotional healing. I do believe it’s all been a gift. What I think about DBT and 12 step and therapy is that when people say life has no instructions they are lying- there are instructions- u just have to screw up really badly before the universe gives up and hands the instructions over. But then u can let them wash your brain, become your operating system- and u end up much more savvy then some “normal” person who never needing the instructions so they never got them. My life way saved and it was given to me and now I can make my own decisions. What I want is to live with integrity. And I can have what I want- nothing can separate me from my own core.