It’s been quite a while since I last posted on here…I’ve read through my old posts and I’m happy to say that things are much better. Many things have changed since last time I was on here, as well..While the last time I posted on here may not have been my final days of SI and depression (in fact, my SI addiction had gotten much worse), I am, however, proud to say that I have not SI’d in 2 months. I have not had a suicidal thought since early January. I’ve got someone very special in my life who means the world to me. I transfered schools and spoke to the school’s counselor and if I need immediate help I can get it when I need it. I worked SOME things out with my parents. I realized why I had felt so depressed before. I was caught up in the stress of my school and I relied directly on a certain person to obtain happiness. When that person left, I had no one to turn to and I spent my time in the depression stage of grief. Everything else just fell into place – the SI, the self-hate, the family issues, the bad decisions..
I’ve read that since I’ve solved a lot of my problems on my own with little to no outside help (I haven’t told the school’s counselor much yet), I am more likely to bottle things up – which could result in a massive SI issue. I am thinking about talking to my parents and getting a full time counselor if things start to head down that road again.
Well, my main reason for posting back here is to show others that there is hope and that things can and will get better. I know at the time, things seem hopeless and you fear the future – but just hold out. Things can change and things can get better, no matter how bad you think things are. Trust me on this.