I was inspired by the last post, and finally told my partner about my SI urges. I didn’t tell her that I’d actually done it, just that I was still struggling, but that felt like enough for now. She was more supportive than I thought she’d be. I shared it during couples therapy, which made it safer, and I asked if she’d read some articles and learn more about it. She responded positively when I said I needed help from my best friend. It turns out hadn’t wanted to be supportive before because she thought it would be endorsing the self-injury, and she doesn’t want me to hurt myself. And when she’s expressed anger in the past, it was because of her own problems, not my actions. It was such a relief to hear that she wasn’t judging or condemning me. Now she’s reading articles from the sidran.org website. Rather than pestering or controlling, she’s expressing curiosity and gentleness. And I’m surprised to discover that the urges are far less now. I see now that I wanted to share this with my partner all along — to communicate how much I hurt, how alone and crazy I felt. And to have constructive help from the person who cares about me the most. One thing I learned from this past year of SI is that I can’t handle it by myself. It just gets worse in a bubble of silence and secrecy.