I have a therapists who I see every other week. I feel the need to injure right before I go talk to him. I want him too see fresh hurt. Why is this. That’s not the only time I SI.
That was so incredibly brave to say that, I admire you for admitting that. I used to do that with my first therapist and I can speculate why but I’d imagine it’s a little different for everyone.
I think sometime we communicate better by showing rather than saying. Maybe it is easier to express the emotional pain you are in by showing the SI. When I was younger I would do this because I had a really hard time articulating my feelings. Because of this I didn’t think my therapist really understood how much I was suffering and how I desperately need support. Sometime SIing before going allowed me to show that.
I know that for me, I have to show my therapist every wound. If I can’t show her right away, I take a picture and bring that in. It feels vitally important to have a witness. SI is like a scream on the skin — and it needs to be heard. Without a witness, I feel like I’m screaming inside a locked room, and the echoes hurt my ears. So sharing it with someone who can bear witness and not turn away makes it feel more real, makes it feel more effective, like someone has heard me. I think that will fade over time, as I work through the feelings and memories beneath the scream.
That was so incredibly brave to say that, I admire you for admitting that. I used to do that with my first therapist and I can speculate why but I’d imagine it’s a little different for everyone.
I think sometime we communicate better by showing rather than saying. Maybe it is easier to express the emotional pain you are in by showing the SI. When I was younger I would do this because I had a really hard time articulating my feelings. Because of this I didn’t think my therapist really understood how much I was suffering and how I desperately need support. Sometime SIing before going allowed me to show that.
I know that for me, I have to show my therapist every wound. If I can’t show her right away, I take a picture and bring that in. It feels vitally important to have a witness. SI is like a scream on the skin — and it needs to be heard. Without a witness, I feel like I’m screaming inside a locked room, and the echoes hurt my ears. So sharing it with someone who can bear witness and not turn away makes it feel more real, makes it feel more effective, like someone has heard me. I think that will fade over time, as I work through the feelings and memories beneath the scream.