I’m new to this blog. I typically use my Tumblr to blog, but recently found this site through TWLOHA. I though I would give this a try, just because.
I SI’d last night. Actually, it’s become a pretty regular thing. I’m perfectly aware of what I’m doing to myself before hand, but I just can’t seem to stop. I guess I have no self-control. This scares me a lot. Sometimes I feel like I don’t have a good enough reason to feel the way I do. I feel as though there should be one main catalyst that has caused me to do this to myself, but there isn’t. There isn’t one reason as to why I’m depressed. There’s a whole list of things. School, family, friends, but most of all, my thoughts.
I live inside my head. I swear if someone else knew what goes on in my mind and what I though about I would be committed. I feel like there is a bionic hamster, constantly running on his wheel, inside my mind most of the time. I think about everything, both good and bad.
No one knows about my self injury. I’ve never told anyone, and I don’t plan to. I keep it hidden very well. There isn’t a mark on parts of me. I’ve found ways around using certain areas. I can’t go into much more detail than that, though. I’m not sure what else to say. I guess this is a decent first blog?