I’ve been trying so hard to be the girl that my family wants me to be. Every time I try and be myself, they scold me and lecture me like being myself is a bad thing. I turned to SI about two years ago. I haven’t done it in a while, but I wake up every morning and thats the first thing I see, all of my regrets. My boyfriend is the sweetest person you would ever want to know, and he’s always there to pick up the pieces of my broken heart…. but I haven’t always gone for the nice guy. There was this other guy before, and at first he seemed so nice. But he was hurting me emotionally, claiming he loved meand then insulting me. He just wanted me to feel good about himself and all his mistakes, and I was furious when he told me he started doing SI, I was screaming at him, telling him he had no right. He physically abused me, yelling insults. And thats when my current boyfriend came over, like he had some psycic ability and knew I needed his help. He helped me up, and told the other boy to leave or he would call the police. And, I know what your thinging, fairytale moment, right? The knight in shining armor saving the lady in distress? I’ve always felt helpless, to fragile and weak to save myself. And that horrible boy made me feel even worse about myself, its hard to believe I ever loved him. But now, I might have to move away from everything and everyone I know and love. My skies are grey. I’m so lost, and I don’t know if I can handle any more heartbreak and disapointment. The insomnia I though I’d left behind is back. I’m never hungry, so I’ve given up force feeding. What am I supposed to do? Smile and pretend like everythings fine, when people ask if I’m okay I say yes even though I want to scream that I’m not? I’m just giving up.