I have 45 minutes until I should be leaving for therapy. I feel like a blown out tire. Woke up with dissociated-out-of-it then I found anger and became a real person. Then worked for hours on the problem of my son. I was resourceful. I told his therapist, finally, that the is not good at returning phone calls. I contacted old resources. I talked it over with a 12 step sponsor. She reminded me– higher power. And I am reminding myself of that right now. I was energized by the anger. Now the anger is gone and I have a headache and just getting to therapy seems monumental. I think I’m upset by leaving messages for people I know are unlikely to call me back- at least not on my time clock. And I’m upset by the futility of the system. Feeling hopeless. …and that is the ultimate bad reason NOT to go to therapy….