It’s been a long past few months; everything was going well until about 2 weeks ago when I realized how much of a failure and loner I am. Every day, every weekend, I spend alone, with either my guitar or video games, doing absolutely nothing. I have no friends, and people say ‘oh you’re in university you have friends.’ Well no. I don’t. I’ve met a few people in my classes, but I’m way too odd for them to classify me as a friend. I’m more like a subject. The only guy who’s even relatively close to being a ‘friend’ is literally 22 years older than I am, and I used to work with him.
I haven’t injured in a while, but it’s coming. Exam time is here, and almost done.
The girl I have feelings for, although a million miles away, is losing interest in me. We’ve formed what I thought was a good ‘friendship’ over the past few years, I actually met her on here, but I can see now that I’m only becoming a burden to everyone. The second girl I met on here, we were really close (or so I thought), and we supported each other. But again, I’ve become a burden for her as well, nothing more than a hassle to continue to speak with.
So to those two people, thank you. You’ve helped me immensely. But I highly doubt that we will speak again. I know you seldom check this site, but when and if you do this will be the explanation. I’m not ‘leaving’, but I am definitely backing off.
I tried stepping back a while ago. I figured if people cared they’d text me, or email or MSN or something. But they don’t. That’s fine though, the only thing I have to say is sorry I’ve bothered you.
I don’t know why I’m posting this on here, I guess just to get it off my chest, I’m not hoping for a response or for a desperate ‘I had no idea’ message from anyone, but merely that they’ll read it and understand.
I guess that’s it. I should study for exams now.